The Missing Peace

After the birth of my first son, I was left profoundly inspired. Just three months later, I found myself compelled to train as a hypnobirthing practitioner. I was passionate and excited to share my unexpected discovery. However, I did remain somewhat mystified. How exactly had hypnobirthing — a bunch of tools and techniques — made such a tremendous experience possible? I felt sure I must be missing something. Nevertheless, based on my own powerful experience, I began to spread the word that hypnobirthing could undeniably provide women with the opportunity for a smooth, blissful birth.

During my years of teaching, the fact that the techniques worked for some women and not for others continued to elude me. At the same time, I went on to have more children. I didn’t practice the hypnobirthing techniques the second and third time around. I was teaching throughout my pregnancies so I felt I didn’t need to. And I was right (or so I thought), as I experienced two more beautiful births. Little did I know, I was just feeding my own misunderstanding of where my experience was really coming from. I still believed the key to calm, confident birthing was techniques.

Several years later, I finally came across the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle — a revolutionary understanding of the human experience known as The Three Principles. These principles offer a simple description of how our minds work. They show us where real human potential lies and where true well-being and peace of mind reside. They allowed me to see what was at the heart of my ecstatic births.

I gave birth to my fourth son in 2017. It was a glorious experience and one where I felt I could finally fully let go and be present to the magic of birth. I didn’t have to rely on any techniques. I was able to trust more than ever that I was being looked after; that my body and mind were guiding and supporting me throughout. I truly had nothing to fear. That’s not to say I didn’t feel afraid at times, but the feeling just didn’t bother me so much anymore. My relationship to my thinking had shifted. My fears didn’t have a hold on me like they used to, and this transformed my experience. As Sydney Banks, the originator of the Three Principles, quite rightly said, “If people would only learn not to be afraid of their own experience, that alone would change the world.”

Discover the key to birthing with confidence and peace of mind in my newly published book, The Missing Peace in Childbirth; the understanding that will enable you to approach birth with excitement rather than fear, and find true security and serenity in the face of whatever your birth may bring.

Deborah Binun BSc MA MBACP Psychotherapist specialising in Tokophobia, Birth Trauma & Post Natal Depression www.birthfree.com